Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Qui-Gon: Suntan lotion is good for me.

Oh. Wow. Bummer.
We, like, lost, man.
Like, after dinner, we carved up the dewback something fierce. Now we have a dewback tarp shelter, dewback claw grappling hooks, with a length of dewback rope, a dewback blanket, and a dewback saddle. They started making dewback jerky (if you thought it was good tonight, try it in two weeks), when me and Jar Jar went off to work on some things in the cave. Binky, which is his new nickname, like, picked mushrooms and gathered moss. See, like, there is this tiny natural spring in the cave. You know, like, not enough to drink off of, but enough to produce water and keep it cool and slimy.
Right, so me, and Binky, we like, parted ways, and he went off to gather and stuff.
Well, I remember this time that me and Ben, we were on a mission on Hurt Ball 1, best known as Giant Hurt Ball. We had to trek, on foot, like, several days to get to this bloody city where we had to meet with the bloody delegates of this bloody planet (I apologise to any Ballzakians who are offended, but you really should consider some drinking fountains or something out there, man).
Yeah, so, like, we were all hot, and we found this cave. Well, like, I had read in Mothra Slywert's Home Journal there was this wicked bad stuff you could make up to help heal and prevent sunburn. As Slywert was publishing from inside a Sarlacc, after she was prosecuted for just being dag nasty evil, she said the materials could be found inside Gooba fish and in the lovely fixer-upper caves on Hurt Ball 1 and Tatooine!
Well, after mixing up the stuff, which smelled as foul as Rancor poodu, I applied liberally, paying special attention to the nose and cheeks. I explained the usage to my Padawan and, after pushing him face-first into the muck, he decided to wear some too.
It worked like a charm, man! And the hideously nauseating smell went away after a few hours of it hardening and flaking off in the sun. Don't worry, we won't smell like Tauntaun sick for too long.
Free sun prevention slime guys! It, like, not only prevents damage by the multiple suns harmful UV rays, but also heals sun damaged skin, man. It clears up acne, cold sores, and the black plague too! So like, I don't want to hear 'my skin is peeling,' or 'what's that sizzling noise' anymore, man.


Blogger General Grievous said...

Thanks, but no thanks..... being part droid I don't worry about the sun burning me just making my internal organs incredibly hot *cough*

10:36 PM, July 20, 2005  

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