Thursday, August 11, 2005

Han: Mos Eisley Conclusion

Previously, on the transport to Mos Eisley

Dooku: Well, young man. Since it appears we have time to spare, why don't you take this opportunity to finish telling us the tale of your last adventure to Mos Eisley?

Yoda: *glares briefly at Dooku* Indeed. Going well, it seemed to be.

Typho: And yet you returned to camp without the transport.

Siri: ya,where's the transport?did you lose it?

*Han looks at Anakin*

*Anakin seems to be on the verge of saying something, but shows uncharacteristic restraint and just sighs frustratedly, shaking his head*

*Han shrugs and turns to the others*

Han: Well, as you know, we were all set to come back to camp with the transport...

*Flashback fade to Anakin and Han walking up to the repaired transport*

Anakin: I call pilot, yo. Hand over the keycard.

Han: What do you mean you "call pilot"? You can't just call pilot! This is my transport! I paid for it, even!

Anakin: Whatev, don't whine jus because you didn't call pilot first.

Han: I'm not...what makes you think I should let you fly this thing?

Anakin: Well, duh. I'm only the best pilot ever.

Han: Best pilot ever? Listen kid, NO ONE is a better pilot than I am
*Anakin's lightsaber is suddenly in his hands*
except maybe you and I haven't seen you fly before so here's the keycard why don't you show me what you can do? (breathe)

*Anakin reluctantly puts his lightsaber away*

Han: Actually, I've got an idea.

Anakin: ...

Han: I'm tired from being up all night. Why don't you fly, and I can take a nap in the back.

*Anakin's eyes glow red for a moment, but light up when he gets the keycard*


*Han, sleeping in the back of the transport, is woken by a sudden lurch. He sticks his head in the cockpit.*

Han: Getting a little rough, isn't it?

Anakin: I got this. It's just a roiler.

Han: A roiler? What's that?

*Anakin chuckles and mutters n00b under his breath*

Anakin: A roiler, a high-altitude storm, yo. You gets them on desert planets sometimes.

Han: High atmosphere? *Looks out window* Um...why are we up so high?

Anakin: It's cooler up here. The cheap air system your "mechanics" installed stopped working after five minutes. I coulda fixed it, if I had someone to pilot for me, but you insisted on sleeping.

Han: But..! Whatever.

*The ship experiences another sudden jolt.*

Han: Hey, maybe we could, you know, fly lower now?

Anakin: You call yourself a pilot, an you're scared of heights? Whatev. I like it up here. You can see...everything. I feel like I could reach out and... I dunno, control everything. Like I'm a god up here.

Han: Well, your worshipfullness, we can *A powerful lurch nearly knocks Han off his feet* ... I think maybe *Another one hits the ship, and the hull creaks*

Anakin: Near the heart of the storm. It's more powerful than I thought.

Han: Oh, no kidding?

*A severe series of lurches hit the ship, and alarms start going off in the cockpit.

Han: I have a bad feeling about this.

Anakin: Yeah, I think your right. Lets...

*With a sickening crunch, the transport is buffeted by the storm. Vibration racks the ship; equipment tears loose from its solid mooring; the right wing breaks in half and hangs, flapping, from a few remaining shards of metal. The left wing folds back over the transport with a horrifying crackling sound. The tail breaks and almost falls off.*

Anakin: That's not good.

*As the transport begins its long plummet through the atmosphere, the instrument panel suddenly goes dead.*

Han: Well, at least we're dropping out of the storm, and we're not dead yet. What's the situation?

Anakin: We're about 9 clicks up and falling fast. Hmm, no point in trying to start the engines, is there? Not without any wings.

Han: No point at all.

Anakin: Any ideas?

Han: Yeah, I've got one! I've seen you floating stuff without touching it. Some sort of Jedi trick. Can you do that with this ship? Maybe slow our impact a little?

Anakin: *scoffs* Moving fruit around is one thing. This is totally different.

Han: *growing desperate* No! It's no different.

Anakin: Whatev. I'll give it a try.

Han: Please do.

*Anakin concentrates while Han looks out the window, worried.*

Han: Anything?

Anakin: *straining* I can''s too big..

Han: Concentrate!

Anakin: Shut up!

Han: Hey, don't you want to be a god?

Anakin: SHUT UP!

Han: Where's your godlike power now? Huh?

Anakin: *furious* I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DON'T SHUT UP!

*The sudden deceleration hits them like a solid blow throwing Han to the floor, and the fabric of the transport screams in protest. Things bang and crash, and both wings fall off but remain hanging from the plane by pipes and cables and such, while the broken tail now falls off as well and hangs in the same fashion. Deceleration grabs them and crushes them, then eases up and vanishes altogether.*

Han: Oof! You did it! I don't...I don't believe it!

*Anakin says nothing, gripped by concentration. He had slowed their descent but not stopped it, and the transport crashes into the desert with a horrendous crunch.*

Han: *groggy* Ani? Are you OK? *no answer* Are you OK, Ani? *still no answer* Ani! Are you OK? *panicked* Will you tell me that you're OK?

*Han climbs through the wrecked transport to the cockpit. Anakin is sitting in the pilot seat with his arms folded.*

Han: Why didn't you say anything?!

Anakin: That's my slave name, yo.

Han: *sotto* Oy, kids today...

*They exit what remains of the transport and look around*

Anakin: I think we're near Womprat Ridge.

Han: Ah, we were so close to the camp! We almost made it back. *looks at the downed transport* Hmm, the wings, the tail...the engines... All the things they "fixed".

Anakin: If you ask me, those "mechanics" aren't worth spit.

Han: Yeah, I think you're right. Whenever I get back to Mos Eisley, I'm going to have a few words with them...

*With a sigh of regret, he turns away from the wreck, and the two head out to the Dune Sea. Their voices grow fainter in the distance.*

Han: I can't believe you crashed the transport.

Anakin: I crashed? I SAVED the transport!

Han: Oh really? Let's fly it back to camp then.

Anakin: We're alive aren't we?

Han: You just had to insist on being the pilot...

Anakin: You insisted on sleeping!

Han: Whatever.

Anakin: Whatevs.


Blogger Captain Typho said...

Looks like the start of a beautiful friendship.

6:18 PM, August 11, 2005  
Blogger Master Yoda said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

6:29 PM, August 11, 2005  
Blogger Master Yoda said...

Why I no longer let Young Skywalker drive my airspeeder, this is.

6:30 PM, August 11, 2005  
Blogger jedisiri said...

yep you are right master yoda.

8:02 PM, August 11, 2005  
Blogger Anakin Skywalker said...

Hey, so not cool ya'll. SO not my fault. It's causa me we both aren't dead an spit. An Solo jus wouldn't shut up!

8:48 PM, August 11, 2005  

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