Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Starbucker: The quest for clothes

OPENING SCENE:Our hero steps off the transport wondering what he might be best at locating...

FLUKE: (to self) I wonder what I might be best at locating...

(to team) Hey, I think I can score a genuine article of Tatooine clothing at pretty good prices... can I have a couple of those credits?...just two, that's fine...

Having secured the credits, he wonders where might be the best place to begin his search...

FLUKE: (to self) I wonder where might be the best place to begin my search...

(Narrator sighs) He begins walking, but notices the street vendors aren't selling clothes... only food items... He also realizes people are noting his lightsabre, so he wraps up in his poncho and continues on...

FLUKE: (to food vendor): Hey ya, um...where can a guy get some clothes around here?

VENDOR: (in vendorese subtitled) downtown in the Garmento Sector.

FLUKE: Which way is that?

VENDOR: (in vendorese subtitled) pointing There's a public transport that's heading that way.

Fluke thanks the creature, and waves down the transport. The transport halts with a *PPppppppsssshhhhh* and the doors swing open

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FLUKE: Garmento sector? I think...

TRANSPORT ENGINEER: You think !?! ............What.............are you looking...... for?

FLUKE: Authentic Tatooine clothing.

TRANSPORT ENGINEER: Settle in, young.....visitor. 15........stops yet.

FLUKE: (looking around at the crap and scum on the transport) Uh....I'll just stand up here with you, if that's ok?

TRANSPORT ENGINEER: Suit yourself!......weary.......traveler. But it will be......some time............before we're............ there.

FLUKE: Huh? How long?

TRANSPORT GUY: Well.........with stops and.........distance figured.........about 3 ..............hours.

FLUKE: Bantha piddle! Isn't there someplace closer where I can score some authentic Tatooine clothing? I don't have that kind of time.

The transport guy begins rambling with his odd voice inflections and misplaced word accents as the YFotNJOw begins to brainstorm about what to do to speed things along.

The transports reaches it's next stop......*PPPpppppppppppssssssshhhhh*

FLUKE: What's this place?

TRANSPORT GUY: It's second stop........on this.....route. ............There's 24/

FLUKE: c-ya! Wouldn't wanna be ya!

The Young FotNJOw bolts out the doors and runs into a huge crowd as the transport guy calls out.............for ..........his .........fare. The transport guy realizes he lost that one.

TRANSPORT GUY: (to self) durn mop-haired hooligan.

SCENE CUT TO CLUB EXTERIOR well away from the transport stop. The young FotNJOw is fast approaching, running through the crowd. He pauses to catch his breath and begins to walk inside... when someone calls out...

BOUNCER: HEY! STOP! Pay to enter!

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Everyone seems so familiar here...

FLUKE: Wha?.....How much?

BOUNCER: 50 creds.

FLUKE: (waving hand) I can get in free.


FLUKE: (waving hand) I can get in for 2 credits.


FLUKE: (waving hand) I can have your shirt.


FLUKE: (stamps feet) Aw, c'mon man! Sheesh! I just want to see if my friend is in there. He owes me some serious credit, and if he's in there, dagnabbit, I'll give you 100 credits on my way out.

Bouncer looks skeptical

FLUKE: (con't) C'mon, just let me walk through... If he ain't here, I'm gone! If he is, I paid for entry and you just made a 50 credit tip....whaddya say?

Bouncer steps to the side

FLUKE: (to self) chump.

As the young FotNJOw wanders through the club, he sees many strange things... things that just aren't right in his eyes...

FLUKE: (to barkeep) Hey, what's so special about this place that you have a 50 credit cover?

BARKEEP: (in barkeep subtitled) The hourly dancers. They're about to start now.

Fluke notices the time, and realizes he only has 2 hours left. He feels a tapping on his shoulder, and turns to a big human male dressed as a waiter...

WAITER GUY: I have something for you...

FLUKE: Huh? what is i...

but as he was asking, the lights go down, spotlights and laser lights come on - the waiter guy rips of his shirt and begin dancing to a fast techno beat

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He likes to move it move it

The young FotNJOw, realizing the type of establishment he is in, quickly becomes shocked and scared beyond anything he had ever experienced before, grabs the guys shirt, and sprints out the door and down the road as fast as his little frightened legs could carry him, as far as he can go. He ducks into an alleyway, and stops to catch his breath and inspect his new shirt.

FLUKE: (reading tag) Made on Chinusant? Crap.

He hears a smooth, sultry voice behind him.... "Hey, nice shirt. Where'd you get it? It looks like my boyfriend's..."

He turns...

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Fluke wishes he would've just stayed on the transport...

FLUKE: Uh....well, a guy a few miles back there just gave it to me. But it's not the right kind. I need an article of genuine Tatooine clothing...

TRAN-STUBING: Like these gloves?

it pulls a pair of genuine Tatooine naugahide gloves from it's pocket...

FLUKE: Yes! Uh...wanna trade? This fine shirt for those crummy gloves?

TRAN-STUBING: (moving in too close for Fluke's comfort) Well...since you need these, I think I should get something extra to give them to you...

It leans in and whispers something in the young FotNJOw's ear...

FLUKE: (shocked) about I just show you a card trick instead?

It shakes it's head 'No'

FLUKE: Then how about.... a kick in the groin! Freakazoid!

The young FotNJOw assaults the weirdo, grappling and wrestling before finally rendering it incapacitated, and takes it's gloves. He tosses his two credits at the thing, leaves the shirt behind and begins running in hopes of making it back in time...

An hour passes as he runs - struggling to work his way through the busy streets, and through thick crowds, who push, and shove, and jostle him ragged.

Finally, tired and worn and somewhat bruised-up, he arrives back at the starting point in the nick of time. Upon arriving, he searches himself frantically for the precious genuine Tatooine naugahide gloves. They're not in his pocket where he remembered putting them....He looks back, but doesn't see them in the street from whence he came running... He realizes they must've fallen while he struggled through the throngs of street people...

Disgusted, he removes his poncho and throws it to the ground and hollers...

JJ picks up and inspects the poncho

JJ: Good job, Fluke! A genuine Tatooine poncho! Very nice!

The young FotNJOw administers himself a forehead slap, and gets congratulated by his teammates...



Blogger JawaJuice said...

wow. I was on the edge of my high chair the whole time.

11:16 AM, August 10, 2005  
Blogger Aayla Secura said...

You wasted two whole credits?!?! Oh well. You got the poncho.

11:18 AM, August 10, 2005  
Blogger Leia said...

Lovin' the fat guy. I like to move it move it...

7:37 PM, August 10, 2005  
Blogger flu said...

Aayla, I had the poncho the whole time.

JJ, do I get my poncho back?

9:30 AM, August 11, 2005  
Blogger JawaJuice said...

If the price is right....
Oh, all right. Here you go.

6:14 PM, August 11, 2005  

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