Saturday, October 01, 2005

Dooku: Wine and dine

As a Count, I am required to sample many dishes during festivities back on Serenno, and generally find they all go much better with a splash of tea.

No such luck here, I'm afraid.


The First Course:

Out comes the Scurrier on a stick. With a deep breath, I pick it up.

Tally-ho!

...crunch...crunch...crunch...

Why, this isn't too bad, what? Reminds me of a somewhat over-done crumpet, actually.

...crunch...crunch...crunch...

Better make that a very overdone crumpet. With skin. And a tail. And a head. And legs.


The Second Course:

Now the curry beatle soup. I gingerly pick up the bowl, and sip it tentatively.

...

Hmm. Certainly not up to the standards of
my tea, but a fine concoction none the less. I simply must get the recipe for this - it will make a fine addition to my standard brew.

...

Into the mouth goes a beatle.

...

...crunch...squelch...

How delightful! When you chew them precisely so, it squirms, and you get this delightful tickle in the back of the mouth. Ooh! Simply marvellous!


The Third Course:

Ronto intestines. What is a Ronto, anyway? And what's this 'secert marinade' the chef uses? I don't like cooking secrets. They make me feel inferior. Hmph.

...down the hatch goes the intestine...

...chew...chew...chew...chew...
...chew...chew...chew...chew......chew...chew...chew...chew...

You know, it tastes alot better once you get past the gristle. Then it's just bloody. And blood doesn't taste so bad.


The Fourth Course:

Onto the fourth and final course...

Bantha testicles.

...

No. No. I can't eat these.

Back on Serenno, we have a...errr...'Gentlemen's Agreement' - noone eats anything taken from...down there. Believe me, it's necessay when you have hundreds of chef training for the top spot of my chef, and some are from rather unsavoury species...and others like practical jokes.

I am a man of principal. I will not let my principles slide for some reality TV contest.

...

Although...that testicle does look tasty...

4 Comments:

Blogger JawaJuice said...

Well done, none-the-less!
I'll send you the recipes after the game if you are still interested.

8:10 AM, October 01, 2005  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

C'mon Count, show that you've got some and eat some!



(Glad I'm not in this competition)

3:16 PM, October 01, 2005  
Blogger Captain Typho said...

"that testicle does look tasty"

I wonder if that line has ever been written in a Star Wars blog before?

5:46 PM, October 01, 2005  
Blogger Master Yoda said...

Dooku,

A present I will have for you when back home we get. "Smoky Mountain Oysters" they are called. Seafood they are. Yes, the ticket that is, seafood. Enjoy them you will.

9:14 PM, October 01, 2005  

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