Saturday, October 01, 2005

Qui-Gon : Trippin' on the Beetles

Challenge day. The day that separated the Jedi from the Padawans. The scoundrels from the scum. Where each remaining contestant fought to prove their worthiness for another week.
The week in question was a challenge of intestinal fortitude, and not just that of gutsy chutzpah. Multiple Jawa delicacies were set before each of the remaining men. Each had to go through and choke down every item without unpleasantly revisiting it.
The late Qui-Gon Jinn, though dead, was not one to pass up dinner. The first course was a fried scurrier and had little taste as he gobbled it down with fervour.
On to the second dish. Before him was a steaming bowl of beetles in a thick sauce. The insects twitched and writhed.

"Uh," Qui-Gon began, looking to his Jawa friend, "JJ, man, like, I can't kill something to, like, eat it."

Qui-Gon... The voice was not that of JawaJuice.
Cocking his head to the side with puzzlement obvious on his spectral face, Qui-Gon looked at the bowl again.
The Jawa sighed.
"Look, QG, they are dead. It's just boiling, or something. Feel better? Now just eat them..."
"But they are moving..." The ghost picked up the bowl and looked hard at the beetles. He stuck a finger in and gave the sauce a tentative taste.
Again the voice called out.
Qui-Gon...
"Like, who's there, man?"

Meet the beetles.
Qui-Gon's eyes grew large and he dropped the full bowl to the table, its contents sloshing out. He went completely still.
He was freaking out.


Yellow matter custard dripping from a dead dogs eye.
Help!
Everything is helter skelter... It's all too much. I've got a feeling that I need to get back, but I'm so tired. I'm a loser. I should have known better. That mean Mr. Mustard has turned me into a day tripper.
I saw my plant, Floyd, the one with the pink flower. It wasn't brain damage, just one of my turns. With a momentary lapse of reason, I started to run like hell, the sheep were behind me.
"Is there anybody out there?" I called to the marching hammers.
Nobody home. JJ, wish you were here. I'm just having one of these days, man.
Mother, there's an aeroplane up in the sky. No, it's a Zeppelin. Plummeting like it's made of led.
I was dazed and confused. There was a communication breakdown. I trudged on, and saw a stairway to heaven draped in kashmir. I walked along it, seeing at my sides the houses of the holy.
There at the apex, was the Queen of my dreams, Tahl.
"Now I'm here," I said, "Your good old fashioned lover boy." What we had was a crazy little thing called love, a miracle.
My mother love looked at me and said, "Don't try so hard. Just fight from the inside. No-one but you can beat this. You're in the lap of the gods."
She was right. I had to hang on in there. To have a breakthru. Was it all worth it? Yes, it was a worthwhile experience.
Again, the purple haze clouded my brain. Manic depression set in. My foxey lady was gone and there was fire all along the watchtower. I tried to make my way to a red house, past the castles made of sand.
I found myself stuck in Coruscant crosstown traffic. Far in the distance was a paper sun. There, at the corner of the Shanghai noodle factory, were forty thousand headmen, marching my way. Was I feeling alright? Not feeling too good myself, and I had a hole in my shoe. I dashed in through a set of double doors.
Those people are strange and these had been some strange days. I found moonlight drive, and kept going, waiting for the sun. I had really hoped that this was the end.
I had been down the long and winding road. This whole trip had left me nowhere man. I did learn from the things we said today that this Mother Nature's son would have done better if he'd just let it be.

3 Comments:

Blogger Master Yoda said...

I knew that confiscate all of your stoner music years ago I should have.

Very clever.

9:10 PM, October 01, 2005  
Blogger JawaJuice said...

Impressive...most impressive.

7:32 AM, October 02, 2005  
Blogger flu said...

ahhhhh... the lyrics, coupled with the colors really sent me back a ways...

6:39 AM, October 03, 2005  

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