Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Qui-Gon : Inviting Advert

Master Yoda sat in his special chair in the empty council room. He leaned back, kicking his small feet out, crossing them at the ankles. Idly, he flipped through channels on the projector holo-vid. He settled on a syndicated episode of the Golden Girls, placing the remote at his side, and resting his hands behind his head.
"No interruptions," he muttered to himself. "Peace and quiet I need."
There was a snuffling sound at the door, followed by a chime. "Master Yoda?"
Yoda's ears drooped. "What is it, Padawan Harvey?"
"Um," the small voice stammered, "I think that Bob wants to be wif you. He don't want no more rides."
The master rested his head on his hand, his elbow popped up on the armrest. "Master Yoda's time this is. Go and play. For a walk you should take him."
With a sudden hiss, the door slid open and in stomped a large natty bantha, with a small boy, looking sheepish, in tow. Showing the grace of Wampa, the wooly beast parked himself beside Yoda's seat, his mangy locks hanging in the small master's face. Harvey sat on the opposite side of Yoda, his view of the chair blocked by the mammoth bantha.
Yoda gave and exasperated moan, pushing the fur aside.
"Even after the bath, like poodu you smell!"
Harvey chimed in. "Master, that was me. Sorry."
Yoda simply shook his head and tried to focus on the programme playing before him. He absently stroked the bantha's fur. Bob gave a low guttural purr and his long slobbery tongue hung from his mouth.
"Master?" Harvey asked. "Do we have to watch the show wif the old ladies? Can't we watch wrasslin'?"
There wasn't a second for thought before Yoda's reply of, "No! Your mind wrestling rots!" He expelled a small sigh and took up the remote with his free hand. "Maybe something educational we can watch."
Harvey whined loudly and Bob gave one of his quietest belches.
Yoda shuffled through the stations and caught something very familiar. It was a shot of Watto's Casino. He left the station to play.

* * * *
Watto's Casino shown, secluded far out into the reaches of Tatooine's desert wastelands. The sky was powder blue and cloudless. There was a slight breeze that gently blew at the healthy palms decorating the entrance. Bright lights flickered up the length of the building. Twin suns shone in the background.

The translucent form of Qui-Gon Jinn stepped into view. He was in his standard Jedi uniform, but lacked his dilapidated poncho. JawaJuice came up to stand beside the ghost.

"Like, hey, guys, this is Qui-Gon Jinn, Jedi Master, and, like, Soul Survivor from the really popular programme, Survivor : Tatooine. I'm, like, here to make an announcement to my, like, fellow Survivors and our fans, man." He motioned to his friend, JJ. "This is JawaJuice. He's here to translate for the Force Ghost Visually Impaired." JJ waved.
"So, like, right," the spectre began, "I'm here to invite everyone..."
JJ held up a sign saying "OBI-WAN."
"To this far out shindig..."
Another sign was held up, "BIG PARTY."
"Out here at Watto's on Tatooine..."
"AT WATTO'S."
"And, like, it's on me, man."
"NO COVER TO GET IN."
"Live I've got some stellar food lined up. Gourmet stuff and then the classics, Cheetos, beer, Oreos, and, like, brownies, of course."
"FREE CHEETOS AND BEER."
"And, like," Qui-Gon smiled, "A special surprise for you guys, man. You'll like it."
"SURPRISES!"
"Just meet me here at Watto's. The whole place has been rented out for the next five days. Everyone's got a free room and whatever munchables you want. So, yeah, I'll like see you here. And, guys, thanks."
"GIT 'ER DONE."
* * * *
Yoda sat still for a moment.
"Are youse goin' back to Tatooine, Master?" Harvey crawled into view, looking up at the green one with big brown eyes.
Bob snuffled, pushing into the gentle strokes Yoda was petting him with. He shook his head, slinging slobber all over Master Windu's seat.
Yoda looked at the seat and down to Harvey.
"Summoned I am. Away I must go. Just tell Master Windu about his chair, we will not."
Harvey smiled and gave a big nod.
The Master climbed up on the purring bantha, pulling at the dreads and shimmying his way to the curve of beast's neck.
"Bob, back to Tatooine we are going."
The mammoth stood and headed for the door, stopping abruptly when Obi-Wan dashed into the open chamber.
The younger master panted, his eyes bright, a smile lighting up his flushed features. He skidded to a halt before the bantha and his rider.
"Hoo whee! Did ya'll see that there advert, Master Yoda? Free Cheetos! I'm goin' back ta' Tatooine fer' sure!"
Yoda shook his head and dragged a hand over his face. "A long weekend this will be," he muttered to himself.

8 Comments:

Blogger flu said...

wait... Obi-Wan was watching something edumacational?

7:41 AM, November 09, 2005  
Blogger Bip said...

It could be the food network? Like Cheetos: Unwrapped.

10:18 AM, November 09, 2005  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

A big party! I'm totally coming.

Will there be green beans?

10:38 AM, November 09, 2005  
Blogger JawaJuice said...

ooooo...I'm gonna drink like a fish!!!

11:53 AM, November 09, 2005  
Blogger Qui-Gon Jinn said...

Jon, man,
There will be, like, green beans in the Three Bean Salad, green bean casserole, green beans and nerf butt, green beans in black bean sauce, black beans in green bean sauce, green bean pie, and vegan organic green beans in soy curds.
JJ, just in luck, man. The case of the new Aniheuser-Boushh, Mon-Cali Dry, the, like, beer by the Mon Calamarians.
Like, everybody, like, go nuts. Seriously.
Q

7:00 PM, November 09, 2005  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Wow, that's a lot of beans, more than I should ever want.

How about shrimp? What kinds of shrimp will there be/

2:46 AM, November 10, 2005  
Blogger Qui-Gon Jinn said...

Uh, like, right, shrimp is the fruit of the sea, man. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. There's um, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's, like, pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich. That- that's about all we could, like, think to make, man.
Hope that's enough.
QGJ

9:20 AM, November 10, 2005  
Blogger Jar Jar Binks said...

Hmm. Mesa busy right now, but mesa on Tatooine, anyway, so mesa getten dere soon.

3:21 PM, November 10, 2005  

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