Thursday, July 14, 2005

Welcome to Survivor: Tatooine!


Hot. Desolate. Hot. Remote. Hot. Dangerous. Did I mention that it’s hot?
It is on this forlorn planet far away in the outer rim that 16 contestants will have to match wits with the elements and each other in order to survive.

It is here I call home. My name is…eh…well, to most it is unpronounceable but you can call me J.J. I’ll be your host for the next several weeks as these contestants outplay, outwit and outlast each other to be known as the last survivor and win a million credits.

The contestants may only bring one weapon of choice as well as one luxury item. Otherwise they only have the clothes on their back.

The contestants have been randomly divided into two tribes. The tribe names have been taken from ancient jawa sayings. The first tribe is the Ooteeni tribe. (Ooteeni meaning ‘Holy crap! I’m being eaten by a bloody great Dewback!’) Their buff color (and blog color) will be orange.

The members of the Ooteeni Tribe are:
Anakin: Part-time Jedi, Full time Playa'
Dooku: Tea Toddler
Han: Smuggler
Mace: Youth Councilor
Padmé: Fashion consultant
Siri: Jedi Apprentice
Typho: Security
Yoda: Jedi Master (and master of Jive?)

The second tribe is the Mabbitt tribe. (Mabbitt meaning ‘WTF’) Their buff (and blog color) shall be purple.

The members of the Mabbitt tribe are:
Aayla: Blue Man Group Understudy
founder of the New Jedi Order wannabe
Vishnu stand-in
Jar Jar:
Creator of Frogger
Leia: Princess ...need we say more?
Cheeto product tester
Palpatine: Human recourses
Qui-Gon: Brownie buisness guru

The Ooteeni tribe shall start in the desolate area known as the dune sea. There is little shelter here as well as very little food. In fact there’s little of anything out here. Unexpected winds may bring sudden fierce sandstorms at a moments notice.

The Mabbitt tribe starts in Beggar’s Canyon. Also miles from the nearest outpost, this canyon does offer more in the way of shelter from the elements , but the canyon has more in the way of danger. Wandering tribes of Tusken raiders roam the canyon and may raid the contestants and cause harm to them.

Both tribes will have one small well where they will have access to water, but beyond that they will have to make due with making, finding or eating anything else.

Tuesday there will be rock-mail. (It would have been tree mail but seeing as there are no trees…) This will instruct the tribes of the week’s challenges along with what the reward is for the winners. Tribal council for the losers.

I will then post on Fridays opening up tribal council and the vote to commence. You will have up to three days to vote. If you do not vote within those three days, you will have forfeited your chance to vote for that week. I will then read the votes as soon as everyone has submitted one. That person will then be asked to leave the game. They can, of course, post a farewell message.

Post as often as you like but at least once a week. Any questions?

Alright. You may now leave with your tribe members to your respective starting points.

Good luck. …you’re gonna need it.


Blogger Han Solo said...

I have a question: Why is the font size for my name reduced to 85%? That's prejudice, that is! I don't see ANY ONE ELSE'S name reduced!

Is it 'cause I owe you money? Is THAT it? Once I win the million credits, I can pay you off! In the meantime, stop discriminating against me!

I demand restitution! I demand recompense! I demand a dictionary, to look up what recompense means!

I demand brownies!

Actually, just that last one.

12:08 PM, July 14, 2005  
Blogger Aayla Secura said...

I'm first on the list of the Mabbitts! :)
...but...I'm not an understudy to the blue man group. I'm not even a man!!

12:59 PM, July 14, 2005  
Blogger JawaJuice said...

Sorry about that. Typo.
Have an extra brownie.

After I randomly divided everybody up,I posted the names alphabetically.
As for the job descriptions, talk to programming management.They just started giggling when I told them what your real jobs were.

1:14 PM, July 14, 2005  
Blogger flu said...

han - get used to disappointment

JJ - someone's been a busy little Jawa... impressive indeedy... but did you mean to leave the mystical ancient haunted Bantha graveyard unmarked on the map?

1:22 PM, July 14, 2005  
Blogger General Grievous said...

Ok, well my weapon is..... a lighsaber and luxury item....... a fully armed security droid (its not a weapon only there for the luxury of not needing a guard every night so we all get some sleep) *cough*

1:29 PM, July 14, 2005  
Blogger Anakin Skywalker said...

I hope one of the challenges is slaughtering Sand People, yo.

5:11 PM, July 14, 2005  
Blogger JawaJuice said...

Aayla, interesting side note:
One of the Blue Man Group IS actually a woman.
Go figure...

5:21 PM, July 14, 2005  
Blogger Captain Typho said...

I'd like to choose an ion cannon as my weapon. My luxury item will be a Naboo skiff.

9:20 PM, July 14, 2005  
Blogger Jar Jar Binks said...

Mesa weapon will bein a sling and a bunch of boomas. Luxury item... mesa will taken der coffee machine. Mesa issen plannen to start agriculture and grow coffee beans.

10:34 PM, July 14, 2005  
Blogger Jar Jar Binks said...

Actually, for mesa luxury item, mesa tinken mesa will *need* a gallon of moisturiser. Tatooine issen havoc with der skin.

10:37 PM, July 14, 2005  
Blogger Qui-Gon Jinn said...

So, like, we can bring anything, right?
So if I wanted to, I could tell you to bring over that supply of brownies we were going to market on Yavin-4? You know, the gross (that's 144, man) of brownie goodness? Next to the fondue pot. Yeah, those.
Or, like, the Junior Padawan Survival Kit, with the pocket lightsabre/fisherman, one week's worth of Mac'N'Cheeze rations (just add water!), a First-Aid kit (with Scooby adhesive strips!), a Padawapup tent (just the right size for chubby cheeked little younglings), and a gallon of Kool-Aid! Oh YEAH!
If anything, I'd like my poncho. I've not seen it in my flat. I think Ben might have kept it.
Other than that... I've forgotten what we were talking about, man.

10:42 PM, July 14, 2005  
Blogger Obi Wan Kenobi said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

3:11 AM, July 15, 2005  
Blogger Padmé said...

Like, I'm so bringing my Powerpuff Girls parasol as my luxury item! And for my weapon of choice, I'd like to use my lightweight rocket launcher if possible!
'Kay, so I'm a bit of an idiot here, but do we post on this blog, or do we use our own? And like, will the team colours come up automatically, or will we have to change them in our post?

padme xxx

4:43 AM, July 15, 2005  
Blogger Obi Wan Kenobi said...

I want a light saber, other weapons are so uncivilised and also a party pack including cheetoes & beer as my luxury item

5:23 AM, July 15, 2005  
Blogger JawaJuice said...

Post on this post...leaving your own post free to post whatever post you want to post.

You can post it as the color of your team or I can go in afterwards and do it.

7:27 AM, July 15, 2005  
Blogger JawaJuice said... who's gonna post first..?

7:33 AM, July 15, 2005  
Blogger flu said...

Gee, JJ, since you're pointing that thing that looks kinda like a pirate's pistol with a black-spray-painted papertowel tube taped on the end of it at me, I guess I'll get started on a post.

7:42 AM, July 15, 2005  
Blogger Chancellor Palpatine said...

I wish to bring my lightsaber as my weapon, and a crate of Oreo's as my luxury item.

I get to bring my black cloak for clothing, right? I don't want to have to wear my 'banana hammock' speedo all the least not without SPF 100 sunblock.

8:07 AM, July 15, 2005  
Blogger Leia said...

I guess I'll bring my blaster pistol - I wanted to steal Luke's light saber, but unfortunately I don't know how I'll use the thing.

For my luxury item, I'll bring a fork.

Hahaha... bananahammock.

12:22 PM, July 15, 2005  

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