Friday, July 15, 2005

Master Yoda: Hervé, Crock-pots, and Womprat Stew

Very informative about Tattooine JawaJuice and Young Starbucker were. But one very important detail they left out - named after who, the planet and its suns were:


A religion based on the TV show Fantasy Island, the ancient native inhabitants built. To this day, the annual Hervé Olé! festival they still hold, and yearly pilgrimages to the St. Ricardo de Montabalban temple on the Ronto Plateau they make. Tatooine monks chanting the prayer "The Plane, Boss, The Plane" as down one of Mos Eisley's older streets they walk, an uncommon sight is not.

What to do with the contest this has? Nothing! What? An excuse to get some culture you people need? Excuse me if enlighten you people I try! Hmph!

Getting hungry today, we were, but hungry enough to try to hunt those ugly sand worms we were not! Fortunately, away from their native grounds and into our camp, a herd of womprats wandered. Unfortunately, surrounded by dufuses I am. Immediately, his ion canon, Captain Typho took out and fired at them, blowing them into womprat confetti. "Good going, Typhoid!" I said. It he hates when 'Typhoid' I call him.

Thankfully, by us a second herd wandered. "I got this, yo!" Young Skywalker yelled. His lightsaber he brandished, and after the womprats he went. Twenty he killed, then thirty, then forty.

"Duf.. I mean Young Skywalker, here a minute, come over!" I yelled.

"Whassup, G?"

"Young Skywalker, a deep freezer somewhere you are hiding?"

"No."

"Then a meat locker close by, you know of?"

"Uh, no."

"Then do what with all the extra dead womprats we will?"

"Uh, think of that I did not." he said.

Dufus!

For some reason, a cooking implement no one else brought with them. Gee, that maybe something to prepare food with we might need, you think? Luckily for everyone, a solar-powered crock-pot, my luxury item was. Finally able to use that thing I was. Used it since I ordered it from that informercial, I have not. Buying things off of televsion I should stop, but sell me anything, that Ron Popeil can! So, ready to fix us all some womprat stew I was.

His two credits, Dooku had to put in, "I say, old man, womprats are much better served fried, I should think."

Supposed to fry it with what we were, our hands? A frying pan we had not.

"No! Fry not!" I said. "Stew or stew not. There is no fry."

3 Comments:

Blogger Anakin Skywalker said...

Better have too much food than too little, yo. We can always toss the rotting carcasses into a tusken camp later, G.

8:31 PM, July 15, 2005  
Blogger Han Solo said...

Aren't those plasma swords you guys are all carrying hot enough to fry meat?

Or you could hot-sand bake it, if you had something to wrap the meat in. Or, if we could find a big solid rock in all this sand, you could cut it into flat plates and dry the meat in the sun.

A little womprat jerky goes a LONG way. As they say here, "You'll never starve if you have some womprat jerky." You can always think of other things you'd rather eat (sand, your arm, etc).

9:11 PM, July 15, 2005  
Blogger jedisiri said...

oh padme is an expert in cooking!anakin should know that!

11:00 PM, July 15, 2005  

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