Sunday, October 23, 2005

Tribal Council #12

“And now it comes down to three. Tonight is the last night of regular tribal council. Yoda, who won the endurance challenge now, has immunity from this nights vote. As a result, Both Qui-Gon and Fluke’s vote cancels each other out, so it is up to Yoda to cast the deciding vote. Yoda…?”

Yoda slowly hobbles over to the voting table with the help of his cane. Slowly he walks over…ever so slowly. The others wait with anticipation and bated breath and trepidation and even the willies. Still Yoda carefully walks over to the voting table…the tip tip tap of his cane echoing off the pre fab stone floor of the mock up runway the producers designed. Tip tip tap….tip tip tap…

An exasperated sigh comes from J.J. “Eh…any time there, Yoda…”

“Patients. Must learn patients. Old I am…need time to think I do too. Very difficult this vote is…most difficult.”

He then started to walk slower while at the same time all of us around the fire could have sworn we heard the little bugger giggling.

Finally he reached the table and grabbed a piece of parchment and a pen. Then he just stood there pen in hand, poised to write a name.

The other two contestants were on pin and needles, crimson and clover, howdy and doodie. Their anxiety was palpable. Not only that, I could begin to feel it too.

Still Yoda just stood there.

“Eh…Master Yoda…um…we don’t have all night you know….Just write down a name.”

Nothing.

“um….Yoda? Are you thinking?”

Still nothing.

I walk over to the voting table. “Master Yoda?”

“Zzzzzzzzz…..snort…..smack-smack…….Zzzzzzzzzzz……”

“YODA!!”

“Wha-Who where???? Oh…It’s you. What happened?”
”You fell asleep. How could you fall asleep at a tense moment like this? We’re all waiting for your vote!”

“Hummph! Hard to sleep in, the cave is. Very relaxing these torches are. Remind me of candle light dinner with Dolly, they do.”

“That’s all well and good, but you need to write down a name of the person you want voted off.”

“Yes, know this I do. Rush me, do not. For Jedi only, Force wedgies are not. Remember. Old I am. Much time I need to think. Perhaps Alzheimer’s I may have. Sad you would be if true, hmmm? Now step back you must. Write the name…I will now.”

And with pen in hand, Yoda carefully writes a name down and folds the paper up. J.J. quickly picks up the urn with the paper in it and takes it back to the fire pit. Yoda now quickly follows. “Don’t know why I couldn’t just say the name out loud. Faster it would be. More fun to watch person’s dreams shatter before me, it would be too.”

Yoda sits down and J.J. holds up the urn.

“The person voted off tonight will be asked to leave immediately…I’ll now read the vote…”




J.J. grabs the vote and unfolds it.









“………….The fourteenth person to be voted off….”











“…….of Survivor Tatooine……………………”











“…………………is……………….”













“……………this person here…………………..”













“……………..who's name is written on this piece of parchment………….”













“………………..which reads………………………”

















“………………the name of……………………..”













“………………………?”















“……………….Fluke.”











“Fluke Starbucker….the tribe has spoken.”

“As for the last two, you can head back to camp. You have all tomorrow to pack up everything you want to take with you and say goodbye to your camp in whatever fashion you want to. Then Tuesday come back here to tribal council and I will inform you on your final hurtle and the rules on becoming the sole Survivor. I’ll see you two then. Goodnight.”

6 Comments:

Blogger Master Yoda said...

"Final hurdle"?!

Oh, Wookiee snot!

11:39 AM, October 23, 2005  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Poor Fluke, he dodged the proverbial bullet so many times only to have Yoda crush him like so. Is that a tear running down his cheek?

11:44 AM, October 23, 2005  
Blogger Qui-Gon Jinn said...

No, like, I think it's lemonade.
*sighs* Bye, Fluke, man. Thanks for, like, at least, pulling through for me. *sniff*
And, like, Master Yoda, may the best, like, Survivor win.
QGJ
(Oh crap, do I, like, even count as a Survivor if I'm dead?)

1:07 PM, October 23, 2005  
Blogger flu said...

aw, shucks. I didn't even get to use my tricked out lawnmower for anything.

Ah, well... it was a great ride!

1:10 PM, October 23, 2005  
Blogger Master Yoda said...

Personal this was not, Young Starbucker. A fine competitor you were. Though fun crushing you like a twig, it was.

And, yes Jinn, may the best short green living Jedi Council member over 800 years old win.

7:23 PM, October 23, 2005  
Blogger Captain Typho said...

I was so sure Fluke was going to make it.

7:15 PM, October 24, 2005  

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