Saturday, October 15, 2005

Yoda: The Contemplatively Candid Confessional

Stand these doofuses anymore I can not. Too much the drama is. Even sleep anymore I can not because of the stupid arguments they have. The other night, having this argument they were.

"Easy, there, Farm Boy," Solo said to Young Starbucker, "I'm just sayin' it has to be Jessica's fault for her break-up with Nick. You can look at her and tell she's a tramp."

Bright red like a tomato, Young Starbucker's face was getting. "You take that back, Han! Jessica Simpson has great morals! They tricked her into wearing those skimpy clothes in The Dukes of Hazzard! You don't know what you're talking about!"

"You gotta lot to learn about women, Kid."

"Oh, and I suppose you know anthing about them?"

"Let's just say I've managed to kiss women who aren't my sister."

"Shut up! I told you, I didn't know she was my sister! I've kissed girls! I've kissed plenty of girls!"

"That picture of Jessica Simpson you probably keep under your bed doesn't count."

"That's it!"

"Whoa, seriously, man," Qui-Gon said, "Like, let's give peace a chance. I mean where's the love? Can't we, like, just recognize each other's space, man?"

But too late it was. Already in the middle of a slap-fight, Solo and Young Starbucker were. A pretty pathetic fight it was, too. Seen old ladies fight better I have. Embarrassed for both of them I was. Just ignore it I would have, but keeping me awake, all the slapping was.

Repeatedly with my cane, I started beating both of them. "Stop being so violent now, you will! Be peaceable like me, why can you not! Control your temper like me can you not?!" between blows I said.

The fight this stopped, since cowering in pain on the cave floor they eventually started. To reconsider their violent ways as nursing their wounds from the cane beating they were, I left them.

Only lead by example I can.


Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

I know Starbucker has kissed other girls because I remember that one time I heard all those kissing sounds and then I saw Fluke with those hickies all over his hand.

9:23 AM, October 16, 2005  

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