Palps: The Phantom Dook

If you have ever been a contestant on a survival game show on a remote planet, you know that there are a few rules that ‘MUST’ be followed.

1. Leave What You Find: Plants, animals, and cultural artifacts should all be left for the next person to enjoy and/or destroy.

2. Respect Wildlife: Don’t feed, chase, or harass wildlife and be sure to hang your food well out of reach of sand people!

3. Be Considerate of Others: Think about how your actions affect other people. Loud noises, out of control pets (Jar-Jar), cell phones and radios are a few examples of what might bother other contestants.

4. THIS ONE IS REALLY IMPORTANT!! Dispose of Waste Properly: Carry out what you carry in; bury feces in a hole 4-8 inches deep, away from water, trails, and other contestants.

So I went out for my morning constitution, at least 50-100 yards from camp. I brought a copy of the Mos Espa Times, just in case.

Then…..I smelt it. I looked over behind a rock to my left, and something was steaming.

Yeccchhh!!!! A phantom dook!

At the beginning of the show, we were all given a copy of the above rules, and agreed to follow them.

Apparently someone thinks that the rules do not apply to them. As far as I know, I am the only Sith around, and I know it wasn’t me (and yes I am aware that the word ‘Sith’ is an anagram for another word that would adequately describe the problem, but I am not going to go there).

I walked back to camp and reported what I had seen. Everyone kind of looked at the ground, but no one claimed it.

“What if someone stepped in it and tracked it back to camp?” I pleaded. No response.

“It was just yards from the water hole!!”

No response.

We have a phantom dooker amongst us…..