Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Palps: The shocker...

So our second challenge is to go through the spare parts of a Jawa sand crawler and put together a cooling droid….

Who comes up with this stuff????

Tell me again why I signed up for this show?

So we get into the sandcrawler, and just like everything else on this planet…it stinks something terrible. I think I need to create a new force method to rid an area of all bad odors. Force de-funk I’ll call it.

Qui-Gon goes off in search of the kitchen, apparently to find some brownies. Jar-Jar goes with him mumbiling to himself about coffee.

So Leia, Obi-Wan, Fluke and I begin to go through the piles of rubbish trying to find parts for this droid. I immediately strip off my robe and begin working in my Speedo. I’ve had to keep my robe on up to this point due to the inclement weather, but it’s just too darn hot in that sand crawler to wear it.

Me: Ahhhhhh… That’s much better.

Leia: You know, I was thinking that we could use…* gasp *!!

Obi-Wan: What was that Leia? [turns] … whoa!

Fluke: Yikes!

Me: Now then, I say that we use this power cell for the main cooling motor, and these tubes will work well for…. [pauses] What?? Why is everyone looking at me like that?

Leia: Um..did you know that your yellow banana hammock is showing? *giggle*

Me: Well, yes, of course. *smiling* It’s awfully hot in here, I thought I would make myself more comfortable.

Fluke: Dude! Cover it up!

[Jar-Jar enters]

Jar-Jar: Mesa found soma coffee!! Oh no! [drops coffee mug] [covers his eye stalks] Mesa no looking! Mesa eyes are a burning from the sight of itsa!

Obi-Wan: Palps…it might be a good idea if you cover it back up.

Me: Why would I do that my boy? All the ‘important’ parts are covered?

Obi-Wan: It’s just so uncivilized.

Me: I wear this all the time when I’m on holiday on Naboo? What’s the problem? If you people can’t accept me for who I am, then how can we be a team?

[stunned silence]

Me: Ok, then. Here is a good power source, and this carcass over here should hold all the parts. Fluke, can you hand me that wrench?

So on we went to build the droid. I think it came out pretty good actually?


Blogger Aayla Secura said...

At least we got the droid built..

...but that wasn't a very appeasing sight. Keep your pants on, please.

3:19 PM, July 26, 2005  
Blogger Master Yoda said...

Oh no! Read your post I should not have! Now burned into my brain the image of you and your speedo is!

Aaaaaaah! Blind I am! Aaaaaah!

3:30 PM, July 26, 2005  
Blogger JawaJuice said...


...And this is why I'm back at the clubhouse sipping mint julips.

3:53 PM, July 26, 2005  
Blogger General Grievous said...

Now I am really glad I was voted off, that sounds like the worse torture imaginable *cough*

8:41 PM, July 26, 2005  
Blogger Captain Typho said...

Someone needs to Photoshop this. I mean, come on!!

6:21 AM, July 27, 2005  

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