And the winner to Challenge # 12...

“Fluke…Qui-Gon…that was an admirable try. You guys lasted four days out here in the hot dry sun, but as it turns out Yoda is the winner and as such wins immunity. Because it’s down to just the three of you, Qui-Gon’s vote for Fluke and Fluke’s vote for Qui-Gon cancels out each other. So Yoda’s vote is the only one we’re looking for. Remember…you’re not only voting off someone, you’re also determining who you’re gonna bring with you to the final two.

As a consolation for all of you we have some ice cold drinks over here. Oh, and some left over food from that challenge if you’re hungry.

I’ll see you all at tribal council tomorrow.

Yoda: Winning, Dolly, and Doofuses

Comfortable it is on this post. A hard time balancing Young Starbucker is having, but small I am. Plenty of room I have.

But boring it has gotten. Amusing for only so long, hearing Young Starbucker yell, "The snakes! The pink snakes on my head! Get them off! Get them off me!" is. Getting bored with watching him bat his arms at an imaginary psycho pony, I am.

Also, getting tired I am. Up on these posts for days with no sleep, we have been. Very heavy my eyelids feel. Keep them open no longer I.... zzzzzzzzzz


"Howdy there, Yoda!"

"Who that is!"

"I'm right over here, Sugar!"






























"D-Dolly, you that is?!"



"But, where am I? In the middle of that stupid challenge I was, and..."

"Oh, Honey, that wasn't nothin' but a little ol' nightmare. Here..."

















"...You just relax and tell me all about it, Sugar. I'm gonna make it all better for ya, ya hear?"




"Oh, Dolly, terrible it was. Trapped on this awful desert planet called Tatooine and surrounded by all these doofuses, I was. First, womprats we had to eat. Then, in a giant worm's skin we lived. Then, lick Jabba the Hutt's armpit I had to. Then, around all the time this big blind farting bantha was following me. Also, there Dooku was, but let me smite him down they would not! And... and... forced to eat disgusting things I was... and..."

"Shh, now don't you fret none, Sweetheart. Dolly's gonna make it all better. Why don't you give me a smooch?"

"K-k-kiss you, you mean?"

"Of course, Sugar! What d'ya expect I want a good-lookin fella like you to do? C'mon Darlin', kiss me."
















Racing so fast my heart is. So nervous and excited I am. A wish come true this will be...



"Yoda, wake up! Hey, wake up!"

*POOF!*

"Huh? What? Happening what is? Go where, Dolly did?"

"Yoda, it's me, JJ. You fell asleep...OUCH!"

"Doofus!" Young Starbucker's boot I threw at JJ. "Woke me up you should not have!"

"But you won the challenge, and Qui-Gon's trying to revive Fluke, and you're missing... what are you doing?"

"Look like what, does it? Smacking myself in the head with my cane I am. Maybe knock myself unconcious and go back to sleep I can."

Yoda: Dignity

The manners of a baboon, Young Starbucker has. To raise their hand and ask to be excused to the restroom, so that wet their pants they do not, even the Younglings I teach know. Well, most of them, anyway. A puddle under little Harvey's desk I still find from time to time.

But digress I do. An adult Young Starbucker is supposed to be! OK, so to win he wants, but no pride he has? Worth giving up all your dignity is it? The only one here who is concerned about decency, am I?

A good thing it is that this Dixie cup I stashed in my robe. Of course, a challenge, emptying it unnoticed when full it gets is. Sometimes, unfortunate enough to be walking below an unsuspecting producer is while emptying the cup I am. But if up at me she looks, all I say is, "Hmm, birds." Think fast on my feet I can.

Yoda: Whizzing the Day Away

So on my post I was when over at Young Starbucker I looked. Very antsy he was acting. Also his legs he kept crossing. Strong with the Spores he is, but learned the Jedi Bladder Control Trick yet he has not. Incomplete his training is.

Some words of encouragement I thought I would give him. "Hey, Young Starbucker! Know what I am thinking about right now, do you? Thinking about the waterfalls on Naboo, I am. Yes, picture the water flowing down I can."

"No, Yoda!" Young Starbucker pleaded, "Stop! I can't..."

"Mm... gushing, yes. Hear the splashing I can. Splish, splash. Hear it can you? Of course, sometimes just a trickle it is. Trickle, trickle. Tinkle, tinkle. Picture the tinkling of the waterfalls, can you?"

All wrinkled up from the strain, his face was getting now. Hee hee hee hee!

Challenge #12 Sweating to the oldies

Good morning Survivors. It’s been a very long time since we started this game; nearly three months of braving the elements and each other. But today is the last challenge you three will have to endure. In fact endurance is what it’s all about.

As you can see, were out here in the dune sea just before dawn. To my left are three small posts sticking out of the sand just large enough to stand on. It is on each of those posts that you will get on and stand there for how ever long it takes. Remember, the suns will be up any minute and as the day grows so will the temperature to nearly 130 degrees. You will have no food or water unless some is offered to you. You may even hallucinate due to the heat, who knows. But if you fall off the post, you’re out. Simply put, the last person standing wins immunity. And as such that person in a sense decides who to take with him to the final two.

Is everyone ready? Alright. Get up on your posts and we’ll begin.

Tribal Council #11

Welcome survivors. You all did very well with the three rings of fear. I know that was a particularly hard challenge to confront. As you know, Qui-Gon came out of the rings first and as such has immunity towards tonight’s vote. So with that said…let’s begin counting the votes.

First vote……………………Fluke

Next………………………….Han

……………………………..Fluke

…………………………….Han. Yet another tie. So once again I will randomly pick between the two names and be verified by my lovely assistant, Elsa.

……………………….the thirteenth person off Survivor: Tatooine….

Han Solo.

Han….the tribe has spoken.

The three of you head back to camp. Tomorrow will bring the last challenge. Good night.