Saturday, August 13, 2005


it's a pity i got voted off.but i really hope you guys can enjoy your time there .so farewell my friends!
ps.typho work hard!*kiss*

Tribal Council: Week Four (Ooteeni)

Allrighty. Next up is Mabbitt. I'll got tally the votes.

J.J. walks back with scarf around his mouth and nose as he holds the rotting womprat skull and carefully takes out the votes.

First vote.......................Siri

next vote.......Siri


......................Dooku. That's two for Siri, two for Dooku.

Han: We can count, gutterball. Why don't you do us all a favor and tell us who's axed.



The sixth person voted off Survivor: Tatooine....

Jedi Siri. I'm sorry. The tribe has spoken.

The rest of you can go back to your camps. The suns going to rise awfully early tomorrow. Goodnight.

Tribal Council: Week Four (Mabbitt)

J.J.: Alright. It's been a hard week and I know coming here and voting someone off doesn't make it any easier. Mabbitt, you're up first. I'll read the votes.
Grabs the voting skull. Takes a sniff. J.J.'s eyes start to water and he begins to retch.

J.J.: Aw man! That's nasty! Has this thing always smelled this bad?
All the contestents nod their heads vigorously.

J.J.: Right. I'll have to change that. But for now, I'll read the votes. First vote......


Next vote.................................Palpatine


.................That evil guy in speedos.


................... Palps.

The fifth person to be voted off....

Senetor Palpatine. Senetor....the tribe has spoken. And as such it is my duty to remind you to please....don't force lightning the messenger.

Friday, August 12, 2005

The Scavenger Hunt winners

J.J.: Aaaaaaaaaand…time!Mabbitt, your tribe was the first to have all six of your members return with an item. Let’s take a look at the items.A nice power generator…good. A cactus…yes. An Eopie….cute. A poncho…right. A jo-jo toy….ewww, but made here so it’s good. And a salty frog. It all looks good. Now Ooteeni….what can I say? Not only did half of you come back empty handed some of you have yet to return. Where’s Yoda?
Siri: I think I saw him being dragged down the next street over.
J.J.: How can you tell?
Siri: sniff…sniff Oh, I can tell.
J.J.: Now Typho, good try. You made it back in time but unfortunately that flower is only found on cool wet climate planets. Siri, Anakin, and Dooku, you all returned empty handed.
Dooku: I for one will not stoop to lower quality when it comes to acquiring clothes.
J.J.: And Anakin, not only did you come back empty handed, you also successfully used the Force on Owen Lars. That in itself is a violation of the challenge.
Anakin: What? No wait junior J, it wasn’t like that. He came at me, man. He was like, all crazed from binging on pork rinds and Old Mos Eisley. I had to protect myself and spit.
J.J.: We have cameras following all of you. This is a show after all. Would you like to take a look?

J.J.: …and Han, you were supposed to find a snack did you…Han? Has anyone seen…?
Han walks up to the group licking his fingers. Stops. Takes a look at everyone’s faces.
Han: What…?
J.J.: All in all…kinda sad. So Mabbitt wins!
The Mabbitt tribe cheers. The Ooteeni tribe sulks.
J.J.: Here’s the deluxe gaming system for your tribe. You should have fun with that in the evenings.
Yoda, dusty and tattered, finally walks up to the ending point with Bob the Bantha close in tow.
Yoda: Run out of gas, my Bantha has. Too late, am I?
Typho: ya, we got snaked again.
J.J.: Unfortunately, this is another week where both tribes must come to tribal council and vote. So I’ll be seeing everybody tomorrow for the vote. There’s a transport waiting to take you back to your respective tribes. Goodnight.
As the tribe members board the transport, J.J. gathers up the items.
J.J.: Boy, I should get a good mark-up on these items. Except for that Jo-Jo toy. I mean really, who wants a toy that looks like a pickle?
J.J.: AAAaaaaaaggggggggh!!!

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Han: Mos Eisley Conclusion

Previously, on the transport to Mos Eisley

Dooku: Well, young man. Since it appears we have time to spare, why don't you take this opportunity to finish telling us the tale of your last adventure to Mos Eisley?

Yoda: *glares briefly at Dooku* Indeed. Going well, it seemed to be.

Typho: And yet you returned to camp without the transport.

Siri: ya,where's the transport?did you lose it?

*Han looks at Anakin*

*Anakin seems to be on the verge of saying something, but shows uncharacteristic restraint and just sighs frustratedly, shaking his head*

*Han shrugs and turns to the others*

Han: Well, as you know, we were all set to come back to camp with the transport...

*Flashback fade to Anakin and Han walking up to the repaired transport*

Anakin: I call pilot, yo. Hand over the keycard.

Han: What do you mean you "call pilot"? You can't just call pilot! This is my transport! I paid for it, even!

Anakin: Whatev, don't whine jus because you didn't call pilot first.

Han: I'm not...what makes you think I should let you fly this thing?

Anakin: Well, duh. I'm only the best pilot ever.

Han: Best pilot ever? Listen kid, NO ONE is a better pilot than I am
*Anakin's lightsaber is suddenly in his hands*
except maybe you and I haven't seen you fly before so here's the keycard why don't you show me what you can do? (breathe)

*Anakin reluctantly puts his lightsaber away*

Han: Actually, I've got an idea.

Anakin: ...

Han: I'm tired from being up all night. Why don't you fly, and I can take a nap in the back.

*Anakin's eyes glow red for a moment, but light up when he gets the keycard*


*Han, sleeping in the back of the transport, is woken by a sudden lurch. He sticks his head in the cockpit.*

Han: Getting a little rough, isn't it?

Anakin: I got this. It's just a roiler.

Han: A roiler? What's that?

*Anakin chuckles and mutters n00b under his breath*

Anakin: A roiler, a high-altitude storm, yo. You gets them on desert planets sometimes.

Han: High atmosphere? *Looks out window* Um...why are we up so high?

Anakin: It's cooler up here. The cheap air system your "mechanics" installed stopped working after five minutes. I coulda fixed it, if I had someone to pilot for me, but you insisted on sleeping.

Han: But..! Whatever.

*The ship experiences another sudden jolt.*

Han: Hey, maybe we could, you know, fly lower now?

Anakin: You call yourself a pilot, an you're scared of heights? Whatev. I like it up here. You can see...everything. I feel like I could reach out and... I dunno, control everything. Like I'm a god up here.

Han: Well, your worshipfullness, we can *A powerful lurch nearly knocks Han off his feet* ... I think maybe *Another one hits the ship, and the hull creaks*

Anakin: Near the heart of the storm. It's more powerful than I thought.

Han: Oh, no kidding?

*A severe series of lurches hit the ship, and alarms start going off in the cockpit.

Han: I have a bad feeling about this.

Anakin: Yeah, I think your right. Lets...

*With a sickening crunch, the transport is buffeted by the storm. Vibration racks the ship; equipment tears loose from its solid mooring; the right wing breaks in half and hangs, flapping, from a few remaining shards of metal. The left wing folds back over the transport with a horrifying crackling sound. The tail breaks and almost falls off.*

Anakin: That's not good.

*As the transport begins its long plummet through the atmosphere, the instrument panel suddenly goes dead.*

Han: Well, at least we're dropping out of the storm, and we're not dead yet. What's the situation?

Anakin: We're about 9 clicks up and falling fast. Hmm, no point in trying to start the engines, is there? Not without any wings.

Han: No point at all.

Anakin: Any ideas?

Han: Yeah, I've got one! I've seen you floating stuff without touching it. Some sort of Jedi trick. Can you do that with this ship? Maybe slow our impact a little?

Anakin: *scoffs* Moving fruit around is one thing. This is totally different.

Han: *growing desperate* No! It's no different.

Anakin: Whatev. I'll give it a try.

Han: Please do.

*Anakin concentrates while Han looks out the window, worried.*

Han: Anything?

Anakin: *straining* I can''s too big..

Han: Concentrate!

Anakin: Shut up!

Han: Hey, don't you want to be a god?

Anakin: SHUT UP!

Han: Where's your godlike power now? Huh?

Anakin: *furious* I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DON'T SHUT UP!

*The sudden deceleration hits them like a solid blow throwing Han to the floor, and the fabric of the transport screams in protest. Things bang and crash, and both wings fall off but remain hanging from the plane by pipes and cables and such, while the broken tail now falls off as well and hangs in the same fashion. Deceleration grabs them and crushes them, then eases up and vanishes altogether.*

Han: Oof! You did it! I don't...I don't believe it!

*Anakin says nothing, gripped by concentration. He had slowed their descent but not stopped it, and the transport crashes into the desert with a horrendous crunch.*

Han: *groggy* Ani? Are you OK? *no answer* Are you OK, Ani? *still no answer* Ani! Are you OK? *panicked* Will you tell me that you're OK?

*Han climbs through the wrecked transport to the cockpit. Anakin is sitting in the pilot seat with his arms folded.*

Han: Why didn't you say anything?!

Anakin: That's my slave name, yo.

Han: *sotto* Oy, kids today...

*They exit what remains of the transport and look around*

Anakin: I think we're near Womprat Ridge.

Han: Ah, we were so close to the camp! We almost made it back. *looks at the downed transport* Hmm, the wings, the tail...the engines... All the things they "fixed".

Anakin: If you ask me, those "mechanics" aren't worth spit.

Han: Yeah, I think you're right. Whenever I get back to Mos Eisley, I'm going to have a few words with them...

*With a sigh of regret, he turns away from the wreck, and the two head out to the Dune Sea. Their voices grow fainter in the distance.*

Han: I can't believe you crashed the transport.

Anakin: I crashed? I SAVED the transport!

Han: Oh really? Let's fly it back to camp then.

Anakin: We're alive aren't we?

Han: You just had to insist on being the pilot...

Anakin: You insisted on sleeping!

Han: Whatever.

Anakin: Whatevs.

Typho: Desert Rose

A gardenia is not a cactus.
I figured the easiest of the items on the scavenger hunt list would’ve been the plant. I mean, all I had to do was find a market and get a vegetable, right?


I couldn’t find a market for an hour. Then when I finally found it, there were no vegetables or fruit – it was a meat market. I wasted another hour before I found a vegetable market. That didn’t work out either. It was an upscale market with mostly offworld produce and everything cost way more than the three credits allocated to me.

So I started to look for flower shops. That was a joke too. You can’t buy one flower.

Finally, when I was about to admit defeat, I spotted what looked like a greenhouse in the backyard of a home in a wealthy section of town.

I, uh, liberated a small white flower from the greenhouse.

Video switches to montage of Typho chucking a rock at the glass, yanking a branch off a plant, and being chased by dogs through the back alleys of Mos Eisley. The theme from Troops plays.

I’ll pay for the glass.

I’m good for the money.

I really hope this flower is native to Tatooine. It looks suspiciously tropical, but it’s too late to find anything else now.

Palps: The hunt for a power supply

So I got a couple of credits and headed off to see if I could get a power source for the scavenger hunt.

I headed for the side of town were all the junkyards were.


Junk Dealer: Uh..hello. What canna I do for you?

Palps: Yes, I am looking for a small power supply.

Junk Dealer: Well, you comea to the right place. Let me show you what we have.

He proceeded to show me a series of power supplies, all of which were either too big or too expensive. I then spotted one that would probably work

Palps: What about that one?

Junk Dealer: O, that one. Yes, it’s not for, sorry.

Palps: Are you sure?

Junk Dealer: Yes, of course I’m sure. Hey, where have I seen you before? Youa look familiar? You some kind of jedi or something?

Palps: I’m sure you’re mistaken. I’ve never been to your planet until a couple of weeks ago.

Junk Dealer: You sure?? I think I seen you on TV. [eyes widen] No wait…it was on a security tape. My brother’s food store over in Mos Espa. You killed him! I saw it on the tape!

Palps: I’m sure that you must have me confused with someone else…I’ll just be leaving.

Junk Dealer: O no you don’t!

At that he pulled a small blaster from his belt. I quickly drew my lightsaber and deflected a couple of shots, then sent one of his shots right back at him as I pulled the blaster from his hand.

He fell.


I left three credits on the counter, and helped myself to the power supply. I went back to meet up with Jawa Juice to hand it in.

JJ: Great job Palps, that was fast! I hope you didn’t have to kill anybody I know?

Palps: [nervously] Uhh, of course not my boy…why would you think that. I think I’ll strip down to my speedo and catch some sun while we wait for the others to return.

JJ: O geez. If you’re gonna do that, go over there somewhere where the rest of us don’t have to see.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Siri:evil toy

i walk down the street and try to find a kid with a toy in hand.luckily i find one and actually he looks like young ani.seeing this,a brilliant idea appears in my mind.pretend to be an angel and let the kid falls in love with me so he would give me everything i want for free.i know typho is gonna get crazy but i'll do it for our i walk forward and ....
siri:hello*smiles angely*i am Petal!(okay i know it's kinda strange but kids like names start with 'p' like padme)

boy:wow...hello...*giggle*...i am vannie
siri:what a lovely name!(wow i am really lucky this time!vannie & petal!)
boy:are you an angel?*dreamly*
siri:(wowowowo)emmm...ha you are a funny kid.*winks*and you've got a toy!
boy:yep my mom bought it for me.isn't it cute? you mind em giving me a look of it?
boy:sure angel.*giggle,a stupid one*
i take a look of it and actually i don't know what is it it's like a voodoo doll.and i said...
siri:so can i keep it as a souvenir of our emm sweet memory?
boy:*opens his mouth but nothing comes out*
boy:MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SOMEONE WANTS TO STEAL MY TOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and of course as a jedi i run away at a force speed.

what????he called me an angel and loves me but isn't willing to give me a dirty doll???the doll is more important than me????typho,tell me,would you rather have a doll or a girl? i should have used mind trick on that nasty i'm really confused.

Jar Jar: Mesa finden der snacken

Mesa figuren mesa coulden finden food. Issen berry easy for someonesa like mesa. Mesa goin to der part of Mos Eisly where all der restaurants issen. It taken mesa two seconds to finden a nice froggy-looken snack. But mes rememberen whatsa happenen last time mesa tryen to taken thissen, from when wesa goin to Mos Espa ages ago. Itsa did noah goin well. Mesa bein careful and looky before mesa grabben. Sure enough, theresa wassen a wire attached to der froggy. How to getten itsa...?

Mesa: How much issen der froggy?
Snack Guy: It's fifteen credits. You got the money?
Mesa: Welll...
At thissen point, mesa rememberen dat each of ussen getten five credits (Qui-Gon wassen noah needen money; hesa issen berry crafty). Just five.
Mesa: No, not weally, no.
Snack Guy: Then stop wasting my time!

How wude. So, first mesa tryen to earnen some more money. Mesa spenden mesa four credits on a pack of Tarot Cards, den chargen two credits for a readen. *sigh* Noah many people issen interested in fortune tellen on Tatooine. After an hour, mesa had earnen mesa four credits back, plus six more. Issen noah enough! Mesa wassen still five credits short.

Mesa: Hassen yousa gotten any cheaper froggies?
Snack Guy: No, that's the cheapest one. Now stop bothering me!

Thissen wassen proven difficult. Mesa wassen bein stymied at every turn! Next, mesa tryen to usen cunning and guile.

Mesa: Coulden yousa perhaps bein flexible on der price?
Snack Guy: NO! Now GO AWAY!
Mesa: Please?
Snack Guy: NO!
Mesa: Please?
Snack Guy: NO!!!
Mesa: Please?

Mesa: Please?

See? Mesa can be berry crafty.

Dooku: The Tailor of Tatooine

Dooku enters a shop marked 'Genuine Tatooine Tuxedos'

SHOPKEEPER: Welcome, good sir, to Tatooine Tuxedos!

Eyes Dooku's sand-speckled top hat

SHOPKEEPER: You look like you could use a new hat...

DOOKU: Never mind the hat, my good man. Now, if you could show me to the suit section, I'd be very much obliged.

Dooku is led to the suit rack, where he begins leafing through tags

DOOKU (muttering): Not Armani: too formal... not Gucci: too heavy...
(to shopkeeper) Kind storeman, would you happen to have anything a little more trim around the waist?

SHOPKEEPER: Well...we *do* have a fresh stock of Bantha skin in now...if you're willing to wait, I could have one custom made for you...

DOOKU: Why, that would be splend - I'm afraid I'll have to pass, old boy. I'm in a hurry, you see.

SHOPKEEPER: Ah. Well, then I suggest something from our 'Sandyman' range - made for someone with a tall figure, such as yourself.

He points Dooku to the rear of the shop, who then begins rifling through more suits for several minutes, before emerging with a jet-black bantha-skin top-of-the-line blazer.

He places it on the store checkout

SHOPKEEPER: Righto, now let's see your money.

Dooku reaches very slowly into his pocket, then withdraws and places 5 credits on the bench

The shopkeeper stares at the small pile of coins, then points at the door

Well, I suppose 'Second Skin' second-hand clothing would have been a better choice - but their suit range is so distasteful!

Anakin: Brotherly Love

Anakin makes a bee-line to the closest speeder-bike rental kiosk.

ANAKIN: Word up, G. Hook me up with one of those illin' bikes.

RENTAL GUY: That's 20 credits per day plus fuel.

ANAKIN: (narrowing his eyes) How 'bout you lemmie have it in exchange for not slaughterin' your family like a bunch of Tusken Raiders, yo. (He pats his lightsaber)

RENTAL GUY: (holding up his hands) It's all yours, man.

Anakin takes off from Mos Eisley and heads towards the Lars Homestead. He pulls up and knocks on the door of the igloo-thing. Owen sticks his head out.

OWEN: I told you already, we paid the electric bill!

ANAKIN: (rolling his eyes) Chill, bro.

OWEN: Dude, what are you doing here? Did you bring back my protocol droid? Why don't you visit more often? Oh, and I've got something here that belongs to you... (sounds of a baby crying in the background).

ANAKIN: I just needta borrow your power generator, bro.

OWEN: Why in the name of Mustafar would I let you do that? I need that for the harvest!

ANAKIN: You wanna do it cause I'm your bro and I'm your only ticket off this riz-ock.

OWEN: That's... not really a good enough reason. What do I get in return?

ANAKIN: You get to chill with me for a couple hours while I dismantle it, yo.

OWEN: (peeking around Anakin) Did you bring your old lady?

ANAKIN: Stop tryin to get all up in my girl's shizzy, yo. 'Sides, she's back on Ciz-oruscant.

(Owen looks deflated, but opens the door for Anakin to enter. The young Jedi takes a look around at the mess - various baby-related items are strewn around the room, there is what appears to be blood splattered unattractively on the floor and walls, and the smell is only slightly worse than the trash compactor on the Death Star)

ANAKIN: You live here, bro?

OWEN: Well some of us don't have cushy government jobs.

ANAKIN: Whatev. Look, you gonna let me hijack your gear or what?

OWEN: I need the generator, but you can have the motor from dad's hoverchair.

ANAKIN: He ain't gonna punch me in the ribs again, is he?

OWEN: Nah, I don't know where he is.

(The baby screams again)

OWEN: BERU! Woman, I told you to keep that thing quiet! (Owen looks at Anakin, a lightbulb going off) You can have the motor, if you take your kid back.

ANAKIN: ...... Are you on crack, bro? I don't got a kid. Just lemmie at that chair.

OWEN: (almost pouting) Only if you take the baby.

ANAKIN: (waving his hand) Just lemmie dismantle the chair, bro.

OWEN: (eyes glazing over) Here, let me get that chair for you.

(Owen disappears into a back room. Anakin tries to find a place that isn't covered in mess to sit down and work, but can't seem to figure out what, exactly, is somewhere to sit and what is a pile of dead Jawas. He walks back outside. A few moments later, Owen appears with the hoverchair.)

ANAKIN: Thanks, bro. Lemmie just get the motor outta this an then I gotta get back to Mos Eisley.

OWEN: Whatever. I'll be inside. It's too hot out here.

(Anakin pulls off the access cover of the chair and begins rooting around inside, looking for the power source. The sounds of arguing and the baby crying can be heard outside. Anakin tries to focus completely on his task, but he is getting frustrated and is running out of time. Finally, he just yanks a handful of wires out of the chair, and yelps as electricity runs up his roboclaw. Beru runs out of the house.)

BERU: Are you okay?

ANAKIN: I... um... whack, dude. My roboclaw's gone all numb an spit.

BERU: Do you need anything? Can I help?

OWEN: (from inside) WOMAN! This baby isn't going to change itself!

(Beru hurries back in the house, leaving a puzzled Anakin beside the chair. Anakin pokes at his arm for a little while, then decides that no reward is worth this, and hightails it back to Mos Eisley - leaving the chair, still gutted, in front of his brother's door)

Qui-Gon: Tatooine Horticulture 101

This is Jarvis.
He is a cacti, genus Tryppicana, from the Tryppinowt Family, only native to this dust-bowl of a planet. See, Jarvis and I, we had a talk. Established a nice, like, rapport. You see, Jarvis is a cacti with ambitions. He's seen speeders and he's seen the suns. He knows there is more to life than photosynthesising. He wants to join a band, see the galaxy. He just isn't ready to set up roots out here. And for some reason, he reminds me of Master Yoda.
Jarvis is special, though. See, he was out behind this one seedy bar in Mos Eisley. Him and like 47 of his closest relatives. Behind some camo tarps and barbed wire fences. With a Warrt as a guard. And lasers and ion-cannons.
Jarvis and his family make this pretty flower, white to yellow in colour. That flower is very special. When you make tea out of the dried leaves, it makes you start seeing the world like I do most of the time. Swirling tie-dyed colours and nouns. But, these are more serious than any brownie you could ever have. Jarvis is illegal in 389 systems. There are a few that still grow wild way bloody out in the desert, but Javis and his ilk were right here by Mos Eisley.
I was all stealth going in to the stronghold. Sneaking and rolling. Not making a sound. Then I was like, I'm dead and a ghost. What can they do to me? Hit me with positively charged ectoplasmic slime and proton packs and suck me into a sophisticated ghost catcher? On Tatooine?
The Warrt barked. The lasers shot through me, breaking windows which discharged the ion cannons, proceeding to blow up the swing-set and kiddy-pool out back. Poor kids. No 60C summer fun for them, man.
Yeah, so needless to say, after out little talk, I snagged Jarvis. Thank goodness I grabbed him, as the other plants I remember are really uncool and heavy.
There are something like three plant species that I can remember from Horticulture 127 : The indigenous Plants of Barren Wastelands. The Tryppicana Cacti, the Gun-Sentry plant, and the WaezAsh Cacti are all native to Tatooine. There are other evil plants that I've seen out here, but I've forgotten anything about them.
The Gun-Sentry Plant, genus Ultra Violencia, from the Stabbage family, has been known to shoot off its barbs at incredible speeds at the morons who are strolling through the desert to look at plants. It is a popular plant for warlords to spruce up their prisons and torture chambers and for masochists.
The only other plant out here is, like, the WaezAsh, genus Smerkious Jhirkia, Cacti. This cacti is aptly named due to the wise arse grin on its 'face.' People dying of thirst often pass this cacti, see its mocking smile, knowing that it is filled with sweet, sweet, cactus water, and attempt an attack. Then they are not only dying of thirst, but suffering from lots of unwanted acupuncture. An assortment of hole filled corpses are often near by the plants.
So, J.J., Jarvis, like, followed me home. Can I keep him?

Yoda: Bob the Bantha

Difficult for someone my size, walking down a crowded street is. See you, no one does. Still, polite I try to be. "Excuse me, please. Coming through, a tiny Jedi Master is. Step on me do not, please."

Working, this approach was not. But surprised you would be at how effective, hitting people in the shins with my cane is. Especially if hard enough I hit them so that fall down in pain, it makes them. Just be careful I must that fall on me they do not.

Anyway, walked around this stupid place for over two hours looking for a pet shop, I had. Where I was I knew not. See above the crowds I could not! So tired I was. So, to the side of the street, away from the crowds I stepped.

Just then, a voice behind me I heard, "Hey. Hey you. Little green man. You wanta buy a Bantha, eh?"

Around to look at him I turned. A small fluttering creature with a long nose and little wings, he was.

"Bantha?" I asked him, "A bantha for sale you have?"

"Sure, sure. Banthas I have. Lotsa banthas. Maybe you like a big strong one, eh? So you can get around, yeah? You don't hafta worry about getting stepped on, eh? I gotta just the one for you. Come on, you follow me now." He said, then gestured with his hand that follow him I should.

Around back behind his shop he took me. A wooden stable with several banthas, there was.

"This the one you need, right here. Shesa my best bantha. Look, very strong, yeah? You can ride her all over the city, eh? Tower over everybody, yeah?"

"Very fine she is yes."

"Tell ya what Ima gonna do for you, my friend. Ima gonna make you special deal. This bantha very strong, but I give her to you for... 100 credits, yeah? A good deal, eh?"

"100 credits?! Afford that I cannot."

"Whatta you talkin, eh? Ima giving you good deal here. What? You want I should give you the bantha for free, eh? Ok, tell ya what Ima gonna do here. Maybe 90 credits, yeah? But you don't tell nobody, yeah? I only do for you, eh?"

"Have 90 credits I do not."

"How many credits you got, eh? Maybe we can make a deal."

"Only 4 credits I have."

"4 credits? What? You think Ima charity here? Get outta here."

Around I turned, and about to walk away I was.

"Hey, wait a minute. Maybe I gotta something for you, eh? Here ya go, look here. Itsa name is Bob."

The mangiest, sorriest-looking bantha that ever seen I have, he showed me.

"Still alive, that thing is?" I asked.

"Whatta you expect for 4 credits, eh? A thoroughbred, eh? Ima doing you a favor here."

"Ok, take it I will."

My money he took, and then he said, "Ok, I gotta tell you about a little problem it has, yeah?"

"A little problem?"

"Yeah, itsa blind in the eyes. It don't see nothing. But don't worry. Itsa gonna be OK. You just lead him around with these reins, eh? Justa like this. Don't worry."

"Blind?! Supposed to get him around, how..."

"Itsa nothing. Don't worry. Oh, and a one more thing. Itsa gotta problem with its nerves. Don't do nothing to scare it. It'll be ok."

"A problem with it's nerves?"

Then close to me he leaned and whispered, "And don't say 'pickle'."


"WUAWWWW!" the thing yelled, and then out of it the most awful smell came. Badly, my eyes started to sting. Pass out, it made the other banthas.

"Look what you do! What?! You gotta big ears. Whatta you, deaf? I told you don'ta say that! Its afraid of that word!"

"What word?" I asked.



*Cough* *Hack* *Cough*. "Do that *cough* why *cough* does it?"

"Its gotta little *cough* gas problem. Don't worry. Itsa nothing. Justa don't say that word no more. You gonna be alright."

Do what, could I? Only 4 credits I had. Running out of time I was. Go back empty-handed I could not. So the reins I took, and leading the stupid thing away I started.

"Oh, and one more thing."

"What?!" I said, "another thing?!"

"Yeah, don't worry. Itsa just...don't try to ride it, eh? It don't like that."

Great. A blind, nervous bantha with a gas problem I had, and even ride it I could not. Lead it all the way back through town, I would have to. To lead it, I tried, but very big it was, and very small I am. See anything it could not, so into things it kept running. Knock over people it would. What's more, trouble figuring out where I was, I was having.

Crowded the streets became again. About to give up I was! But then, an idea I got. Around I turned Bob so that pointing down the street, his hiney was.



Quickly, the street cleared out! For their lives, everyone who was still conscious ran. Still, trouble finding my way, I was having. And running out, time was.

Lost for two hours I had been. About to give out, my legs were. Finally JJ and the Mabbitt tribe I saw. Several blocks down the street they were. Waving to me they were. Almost done I was! But, walk anymore I could not. So, up on Bob I climbed.

Like that, he did not!


He bucked and bucked, so that off I fell. Away he started to run, but tangled in the reins my hand was! Let go I could not! So down the street, the bantha dragged me, away from where I was supposed to go!

At some point, knocked unconscious, I was. When I woke up, laying in a pile of garbage I was. All over, I hurt. Ripped my clothes were. Nowhere to be found, Bob was. Great, I thought, live this down, I will not.

Leia: The Toy

Our group decided that a toy shouldn't cost much. Any old piece of junk can be made into a toy, right? So I left with two credits.

It was easy finding a toy stand, it was right next to the food. My eyes darted left and right... the cheapest toy could be anywhere.

I was walking down the tumbleweed-dusted streets, when I saw it. It had every toy imaginable. Oh man, it was toy heaven. The man running the stand was grinning.

"So you want a toy, eh? You've come to the right place. So what're you looking, for?" He took out a large doll. "Would this interest you, young lady? Only ten credits."

Ten credits?! Was he mad? "Do you have anything cheaper?"

His grin quickly faded. "What? It's a good doll. A collector's item. What are you looking for, anyway?"

"Something cheaper."

He brought out an action figure.

Six credits. Still to expensive.

A truck. Three credits. "Anything cheaper?"

By then he seemed pretty annoyed. He muttered something then got out a large stuffed teddy bear. "One credit. You happy now?"

"Eeew, I'm not carrying that back. What else you got?" He glared at me. I was sure he'd send me away, but all of a sudden, he smirked, as if he had an idea.

"Here." He brought out something horribly familiar.

"JoJo?" I asked in disbelief. The doll rubbed his ugly eyes.

"That me big bro. He go is fight. Save world from boom boom," it said. "Me MoJo."

"How much is this thing?" I asked the owner of the store.

"Keep it. It's free. Just make sure you lock it away somewhere tight."

"Gee thanks." I said and walked away, toy in hand.

"So where we go, ma'am? Save galaxy? Fly kite? Ride honk-honk to Sea World? MoJo follow ever you is going! Cos you my bestest friend! Fow ever and ever and ever..."

Aayla: Scavenging and Hunting

It's even hotter in Mos Eisley than it is back out at our camp. I guess all the sand-buildings absorb heat or something. Oh well. All I had to do was find a pet animal, and we'd be out of here.

It was far more difficult than I had imagined it to be. First, I tried browsing the stalls to see if they sold any creatures that could be kept as pets. The stalls sold pretty much everything but pets. I mean, we're talking waffle irons, pocket lint, poker chips, power droids, land speeders, pop tarts, shaving cream, refridgerators, pit droids, slaves, blasters, shoeboxes, answers to homework assignments, fusioncutters, lightly used undergarments, thermal detonators, etc.

Finally, I found a man wondering about Mos Eisley, tugging an eopie named Vader on a string of dental floss behind him. He was looking to get rid of the creature--that made my job so much easier. He had kind of an insane look in his eyes when I asked him if I could have it. At first, he wouldn't give it to me, saying something about it being an "evil" eopie. Right. Evil. Darth Vader. As if a sith lord would want that name. Besides...household pets that can be used as transportation can't be evil. It's like a law of nature or something.

Anyways, I assured him that my teammates and I could handle anything Vader could throw at us--half of us are/were Jedi, after all. It took me awhile to persuade him of that, but I was finally able to obtain Vader from him. Woohoo!

Isn't he adorable?

I don't know why it glared at me so. Oh, well. I think J.J.'s going to keep these things anyway. At least I hope he keeps them. This eopie's kind of creepy.

Starbucker: The quest for clothes

OPENING SCENE:Our hero steps off the transport wondering what he might be best at locating...

FLUKE: (to self) I wonder what I might be best at locating...

(to team) Hey, I think I can score a genuine article of Tatooine clothing at pretty good prices... can I have a couple of those credits?...just two, that's fine...

Having secured the credits, he wonders where might be the best place to begin his search...

FLUKE: (to self) I wonder where might be the best place to begin my search...

(Narrator sighs) He begins walking, but notices the street vendors aren't selling clothes... only food items... He also realizes people are noting his lightsabre, so he wraps up in his poncho and continues on...

FLUKE: (to food vendor): Hey ya, um...where can a guy get some clothes around here?

VENDOR: (in vendorese subtitled) downtown in the Garmento Sector.

FLUKE: Which way is that?

VENDOR: (in vendorese subtitled) pointing There's a public transport that's heading that way.

Fluke thanks the creature, and waves down the transport. The transport halts with a *PPppppppsssshhhhh* and the doors swing open

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FLUKE: Garmento sector? I think...

TRANSPORT ENGINEER: You think !?! ............What.............are you looking...... for?

FLUKE: Authentic Tatooine clothing.

TRANSPORT ENGINEER: Settle in, young.....visitor. 15........stops yet.

FLUKE: (looking around at the crap and scum on the transport) Uh....I'll just stand up here with you, if that's ok?

TRANSPORT ENGINEER: Suit yourself!......weary.......traveler. But it will be......some time............before we're............ there.

FLUKE: Huh? How long?

TRANSPORT GUY: Well.........with stops and.........distance figured.........about 3 ..............hours.

FLUKE: Bantha piddle! Isn't there someplace closer where I can score some authentic Tatooine clothing? I don't have that kind of time.

The transport guy begins rambling with his odd voice inflections and misplaced word accents as the YFotNJOw begins to brainstorm about what to do to speed things along.

The transports reaches it's next stop......*PPPpppppppppppssssssshhhhh*

FLUKE: What's this place?

TRANSPORT GUY: It's second stop........on this.....route. ............There's 24/

FLUKE: c-ya! Wouldn't wanna be ya!

The Young FotNJOw bolts out the doors and runs into a huge crowd as the transport guy calls out.............for ..........his .........fare. The transport guy realizes he lost that one.

TRANSPORT GUY: (to self) durn mop-haired hooligan.

SCENE CUT TO CLUB EXTERIOR well away from the transport stop. The young FotNJOw is fast approaching, running through the crowd. He pauses to catch his breath and begins to walk inside... when someone calls out...

BOUNCER: HEY! STOP! Pay to enter!

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Everyone seems so familiar here...

FLUKE: Wha?.....How much?

BOUNCER: 50 creds.

FLUKE: (waving hand) I can get in free.


FLUKE: (waving hand) I can get in for 2 credits.


FLUKE: (waving hand) I can have your shirt.


FLUKE: (stamps feet) Aw, c'mon man! Sheesh! I just want to see if my friend is in there. He owes me some serious credit, and if he's in there, dagnabbit, I'll give you 100 credits on my way out.

Bouncer looks skeptical

FLUKE: (con't) C'mon, just let me walk through... If he ain't here, I'm gone! If he is, I paid for entry and you just made a 50 credit tip....whaddya say?

Bouncer steps to the side

FLUKE: (to self) chump.

As the young FotNJOw wanders through the club, he sees many strange things... things that just aren't right in his eyes...

FLUKE: (to barkeep) Hey, what's so special about this place that you have a 50 credit cover?

BARKEEP: (in barkeep subtitled) The hourly dancers. They're about to start now.

Fluke notices the time, and realizes he only has 2 hours left. He feels a tapping on his shoulder, and turns to a big human male dressed as a waiter...

WAITER GUY: I have something for you...

FLUKE: Huh? what is i...

but as he was asking, the lights go down, spotlights and laser lights come on - the waiter guy rips of his shirt and begin dancing to a fast techno beat

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He likes to move it move it

The young FotNJOw, realizing the type of establishment he is in, quickly becomes shocked and scared beyond anything he had ever experienced before, grabs the guys shirt, and sprints out the door and down the road as fast as his little frightened legs could carry him, as far as he can go. He ducks into an alleyway, and stops to catch his breath and inspect his new shirt.

FLUKE: (reading tag) Made on Chinusant? Crap.

He hears a smooth, sultry voice behind him.... "Hey, nice shirt. Where'd you get it? It looks like my boyfriend's..."

He turns...

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Fluke wishes he would've just stayed on the transport...

FLUKE: Uh....well, a guy a few miles back there just gave it to me. But it's not the right kind. I need an article of genuine Tatooine clothing...

TRAN-STUBING: Like these gloves?

it pulls a pair of genuine Tatooine naugahide gloves from it's pocket...

FLUKE: Yes! Uh...wanna trade? This fine shirt for those crummy gloves?

TRAN-STUBING: (moving in too close for Fluke's comfort) Well...since you need these, I think I should get something extra to give them to you...

It leans in and whispers something in the young FotNJOw's ear...

FLUKE: (shocked) about I just show you a card trick instead?

It shakes it's head 'No'

FLUKE: Then how about.... a kick in the groin! Freakazoid!

The young FotNJOw assaults the weirdo, grappling and wrestling before finally rendering it incapacitated, and takes it's gloves. He tosses his two credits at the thing, leaves the shirt behind and begins running in hopes of making it back in time...

An hour passes as he runs - struggling to work his way through the busy streets, and through thick crowds, who push, and shove, and jostle him ragged.

Finally, tired and worn and somewhat bruised-up, he arrives back at the starting point in the nick of time. Upon arriving, he searches himself frantically for the precious genuine Tatooine naugahide gloves. They're not in his pocket where he remembered putting them....He looks back, but doesn't see them in the street from whence he came running... He realizes they must've fallen while he struggled through the throngs of street people...

Disgusted, he removes his poncho and throws it to the ground and hollers...

JJ picks up and inspects the poncho

JJ: Good job, Fluke! A genuine Tatooine poncho! Very nice!

The young FotNJOw administers himself a forehead slap, and gets congratulated by his teammates...


Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Challenge #4: Scavenger Hunt

*The two tribes take a transport from their camps and in an hour and a half arrive here…*

Mos Eisley. You will not find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. But otherwise it’s a nice place.
It’s here that you have your next challenge. Each team must make their way into the city and find a list of items. A kind of scavenger hunt, if you will. All items that you find must be made or be indigenous to Tatooine. The items are:

A local plant

A toy

An item of clothing

A power source

A pet animal

A local candy or snack

This gives a little leeway as to what you have to bring back.

Each tribe will receive only 25 credits to buy all the items on the list, which isn’t much money, so you may have to find other ways such as haggling to acquire them. And once again, those with Jedi skills can not employ them to make the shopkeepers give you the items for free. You have five hours to find everything on the list.

One more obstacle…You must divided the list among yourselves. You have six people in each tribe...only one person can find one of the items on the list. For example, one person goes and looks for a toy, another person searches for a power source, etc.

All six tribe members of a team must have their item back here where I’m standing to win. The first tribe to have all six items wins!

The winning team will receive this….

A super deluxe Toshy© XXL-Box hyper-mega game system compleate with high def. plasma screen and six robo-controlers. Plus your choice of six games. The perfect thing to pass away the endless nights out in the desert.

As you know, by popular vote, this is another reward only challenge. That means once again both teams will be coming to Tribal council this Friday and both teams will be voting one of their own off.

If there aren’t any questions….?

Qui-Gon: Ya, like, what if the plant or the snack or whatever is kinda on the illegal side. We're not going to like...get busted or anything. I mean...some of us might have records and all...just saying...

Typho: Ya. What if we try to steal the item instead of paying for it?

Jar-Jar: What if messa needta to go to the bathroom?

J.J.: Good questions all. Well...most of them. Some items you choose may be illegal but that is your choise to try and aquire them. If you are caught stealing or caught buying illegal substanses, you will only be held until the five hour time limit has expired. We here at Survivor: Tatooine will then bail you out, but your team will more than likely have lost. Obviously it's better if you try to buy or haggle than to steal.

Palps: Yes...give in to your theiving dark side. It will only make me stronger...

Everyone: What?

Palps: Eh? Oh nothing. Just a bit of gas.

Dooku: Oh, that's what that wretched stench was. I thought that was Leia, what with all that womprat stew they've been eating.

Leia: Awww, fork off!

J.J.: that that Are you all ready? Okay. Go!

Monday, August 08, 2005

Tribal council: Week Three (mabbitt)

J.J.: Welcome Mabbitt. Ooteeni just finished casting their votes and now it looks like it’s your turn.

*One by one, the Mabbitt Tribe walk over to the table, scribble down a name and place the paper inside the hollowed womprat skull. Then J.J. scoots over, grabs the skull and begins calling out the names.*

First vote…………Palpatine.




………Palaptine. That’s two votes Palpatine. Two votes Obi-Wan.


The fourth person voted off Survivor: Tatooine……..Obi-Wan.

Master Kanobi….the tribe has spoken.

Everyone else, I’ll see you tomorrow for another challenge.